fml.... what the hell was i thinking?

i'm such a fucking idiot
and now i've hurt them both...
and the one i want won't even speak to me and i don't blame him
i fucking hate this... i wish i could start over again....
if i could start again, then i'd know never to let myself get so attached to anyone and then i wouldn't get in such a fucking mess
don't really feel like celebrating tonight.... i think SM's plan of getting shitfaced is one i think i'll stick too... i just want to forget myself and all the fucking mess i've made again
i wish next year could be a proper fresh start... new place, new friends, new life...
sometimes i wish i could be in an accident that erases all my memory.... then none of this shit could hurt me anymore and i could truly start again......

JUST. FUCKING. FUCK. MY. LIFE.