500 days of summer :)

always makes me feel better :)
makes me feel happy and optimistic like there's so much left in my life to encounter.
that probably sounds very dramatic but it's true :)
wasn't sure when i first saw it but now i think it's a happy film
and a really good change from the normal fairytale shit
happy :))

tom's coming over tomorrow <3 it will be lovely :)

so unbelievably bored

i usually conquer my bordem with eating but i'm meant to be on a diet D:
i would get up and do something but i'm too lazy and i know that as soon as I move imma get serious pins and needles in my feet :((
might go get a fat free yogurt... temptingggg..

when you love somebody but you find someone and it all unravels and it comes undone

Zombie Prom = shit night. I'd really been looking forward to it as well :( It was alright until Tom arrived. I hate seeing him because it just makes all my feeling for him come back. I text him and then went and hid in the toilets and cried for about half an hour. Then he asked me to come out to talk. He called me a coward and said I needed to move on. He said he didn't know how much I missed him, and that I should've said something sooner because it's all too late now because he's seeing someone new. God, when he said that it hit me like a bullet. It was horrible. He wouldn't tell me who, just that I don't know her. I cried for a long time and he just held me which was nice of him tbf. He took me to get something to eat but everywhere was shut so we just went back to zp. He left me when we got in there and just said "don't be sad", i tried to go talk to the girls but started crying so went back to the toilets and sat in there for another half hour or so. Almost fell asleep. Then Dave text me asking if i was ok and where I was so I went back out and did my best to have fun. Luckily there was only about 20mins left.

Claire's is tonight. I've been really looking forward to it but i'm just feeling so so shit. I'm so tired, hungover and feeling down in the dumps after the whole Tom situation. Hopefully i'll forget about it when I see the girls *fingerscrossed* imma do my best to have a good time.

Listening to Adele and Joni Mitchell really isn't helping either.

her hair is glorious

been for a curry with my mummy :) feeling stuffed, gonna have an early night methinks :)
have a large post planned for tomorrow :)
E xxx

forgive me first love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZjydUWD7f4

tired

and fed up
feeling like i wanna go somewhere again... wish I had a tele-porter or something
hmmmm :(

"but i'm tired
i need to get away
to feel again
try to understand"

oh, also,

just to warn you guys
apparantly the world's gonna end/judgment day will come at 6pm this evening

absolutely brilliant night :))

Had such a good time! :D and didn't even spend that much tbf
It made me really sad as well though because I made friends with so many people who I'd never met before, but cuz it was the last day I'm never gonna see them again :/ it kinda made me wonder what I've actually done in the past 2 years, I feel like I wasted them and didn't make the most out of college :(
I think summers gonna be so so good though :D really looking forward to it :D

I also dreamt a lot about him last night :/ not so good...

and the worst part is...

i know exactly why I can't sleep....
and now I'm crying, brilliant.

can't sleep :(

ended up watching Splash...

i hate having to act like i'm happy

when really i'm having second thoughts

AHHHHH. SO ADORABLE!!

a serbian film

oh.my.god.
i just watched the first half or so of a serbian film
really really wishing i hadn't
most disgusting film ever.. more disgusting than i could've imagined
why would anyone want to make let alone star in a film like that
i feel honestly upset and disturbed by it D:
really really wishing i hadn't watched it
to anyone who is thinking of watching it, don't. trust me, you will only wish you hadn't.
eurghh i feel so horrible just from watching it. i actually feel sick.
and now i have to go to bed. how am i meant to sleep after just watching that!?
i actually feel so sick

feeling good

today was lovely :)
kind of emotional and a little surreal, made me feel old! but lovely at the same time :)
i spoke to some of my old teachers, and old pupils. It meant a lot to have people remember me :)
I also spoke to some of the lads. I'd been nervous because i knew they were going and i'm so shy but it was actually fine. They seemed to take interest in me so that was a bit of a confidence boost :) I mean I know i have a boyfriend but it's still nice to have other guys being interested in you :)
happy happy happy :)))

EUROVISION TONIGHTT :D
so exciteddd. I'm being France again and apparently they're favourite to win :D

It's been a good day, i like it when i feel confident and happy, it's rare but it's always so nice when i do :)
super happy bunny :)
xxx

WIN A EBAY AUCTION

FEEL LIKE A BALLA

bought a lovely white broderie anglaise top on ebay :) and it was only about £3 including postage! :D
my new strategy is when i find something nice on topshop, i try to find a similar alternative on ebay... although tbh it doesn't really work since everything on ebay is either manky or expensive :/
more importantly, i need to find a blumin' job. Gonna try to apply to the gate and to blakelands this weekend. I really like the sound of working at blakelands so *fingerscrossed*

got the Heathfield do tomorrow. kinda nervous tbh, although looking forward to the free drinks and food :D :D :D gonna be so fat and drunk :P and then EUROVISIONNN :D eeee, i hope someone volunteers their house for a party, last years was so good :)) and then a cocktail party at Amy's, that should be real good :D

countdown things

2 days till derren brown
11 days till the end of college
51 days till turkey
64 days till spain
and 108 days till reading :D
there's a lot to look forward to :))
wonder if i can learn to drive in 108 days?? hmmm,
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

fucking love thunderstorms! :D

i turned my music off to listen to the thunder and turned my lights off so i could see the lightning :p
EEEEEEE :D

i can't stop eating chocolate again D:

this is awful
not helping my weight issues at all D:
i need to make mum lock the chocolate away i think

i need to stop thinking about what i don't have

i start looking at what i do have

sad songs

sad mood
i need to stop checking up on him
because i never like what i see
fucks sake

fucking hate being ignored

Bad mood

MUST.NOT.EAT.

so hungryy D: i don't know why i'm so hungry all the time atm :/

in other news, i've been super productive :D
sorted out shoes (and bought too many other clothes in the process D:)
booked driving lesson... nervous!
and applied for a job at the fox... really hope i get it, i need the money so bad!
*fingerscrossed*

want a productive week

gonna apply for a job at the fox
gotta get my ass up merry hill and sort my shoes out
gonna start making the most of my days
and most importantly, gonna start driving lessons :)

just read something that made me think..

"I went through a phase where I thought nostalgia was a bad thing.
- Dario Argento.

...That's because in most cases, it is.
Sure I'm guilty of looking back every now and again but the worst thing you can do is to dwell over it.
Since the term nostalgia itself means to want to go back to the past and often in a totally idealized form, you forget about all the bad things, clouding your judgement on something you shouldn't even give the time of day to be thinking about."

hate feeling like

I've made an awful, massive, mistake
And knowing it's too late to go back and change it

i'm happy again :)

i love him so much
<3