How is it

That he does something shitty and unfair and hurtful 

And then when I call him out, telling him how much it hurt and upset me 

He briefly apologises only to carry on saying hurtful shit

(She's out of my league because she's so pretty .... Right so I'm just average looking am I? Great. Sorry I'm not as fucking attractive as her! Talk about making me feel like second best...) 

And while he's saying all this crap to me, I'm sat here trying to reassure him and boost his confidence, telling him he's good looking and would have a chance with this girl (who's apparently so much better than me) .... 

What the fuck!? I mean what the fuck is wrong with me!!?? It's like I'm trying to set them up!! 

Fucking hell. He upsets me, so I give him a confidence boost... 

Way to go Em, you've made yourself a fucking doormat again 

Too. Fucking. Nice.

So upset now

Why can't I just get the fuck over you? 

I can't cope with this 

I'm so unhappy 

Now I see the appeal of erasing memory

It's not even like I can enjoy looking back 

I can't enjoy thinking about you/us at all

It just makes me even more upset 

Fuck, this hurts so much 

I don't know what to do

Nothing helps 

Talking to you

Not talking to you 

Talking to other guys 

Not talking to other guys 

Nothing helps 

Nothing makes any fucking difference 

All I can think about is you 

All I want is you 

I'm still fucking waiting for you because I don't want to do stuff with anyone else 

I feel so shit about everything right now

Wishing I could go back 

Wishing I could start again 

Literally don't know what to do with myself

How do I get over you? 

Please, I just want to let you go 

I don't want to feel like this anymore 

Crying

Over a fucking photo 

I feel so pathetic

...

Happy anniversary? I fucking hope not

Cheers for that

Just saw a guy

Who looked exactly like you 

Same face, same hair, same height, same clothes, same walk

I thought it was you, my heart stopped and I literally froze 

He turned and saw me looking, probably thought I was a right weirdo 

But I realised it wasn't you

And then I didn't know if to feel relieved or disappointed

I wanted to message you to let you know 

But I'm meant to be leaving you alone :/ 

Plus I didn't want to make you feel guilty or anything 

I miss you 

Fuck you

So angry and fed up about this whole fucking situation 

And the way you keep treating me, and I just keep on letting you because I fucking love you 

Feeling used, and ignored and stupid and pathetic and hopeless 

I was getting better, I was, I was almost there... Feel like I've taken a months worth of steps backwards

Fuck you