Everytime I close my eyes...

You're there.

This is exhausting.
Part of me still want to be with you so badly.
But part of me feels like it's impossible and I just need to get over you...
I wish I knew how
I'm scared that I'm always going to wish for another chance with you
I'm scared that it'll always feel like things are unfinished between us
Surely the fact we still have feelings for each other, after almost a year, shows something?
Although, you said that the only feeling you have for me now is lust
You said you resent me too much
Which really fucking hurts
And now you're saying you want to find someone new?
Which hurts even fucking more
You know I still only want you

I don't know
I wish this was easier
One way or the other
I'm just so tired of being in limbo

Had such an upsetting dream

Why is this still so hard? 

I just want to be over him 

I don't want to want him anymore 

I don't want to love him 

I wish I could forget about him 

I wish I could stop caring

Feeling so depressed and tired and pathetic and stupid and angry 

Why can't I let him go? I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. It'll be a year soon and sometimes I still don't feel any better than I did in summer 

I'm so sick and tired of crying over him 

Feeling like I need to see a counsellor or something. Honestly think there is something wrong with me. 

I seriously need to stop feeling like this