he's making me feel so guilty for stuff that i haven't even done
i tried so hard to be kind and reassuring to him this morning and he's just thrown it all back in my face and now i feel sick to my stomach
as if today wasn't going to be upsetting enough i've now got this shit to contend with as well
god i'm so upset right now. i just keep crying.
i wish i could go back to the start. go back to before my life began messing up and start over.
or, more realistically, i wish i could severe all ties with my current friends and the outside world, go back to sleep, sleep until xmas, have christmas day with the family then change my name and move away. go to a different country where no one knows me. where i can forget about the people back home and how much i hurt them and what i bitch i am and start over again. i would love that so much right now....
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