oh no :(

i'm scared
tom seems to have got it into his head that it's a given that we're gonna have sex at the soonest possible moment
i don't want that...
now i'm worrying that maybe that's all he wants me for
has my slut reputation reared it's ugly head again? is he only going along with it because he thinks i'm an 'easy' way to lose his virginity?
he text me something really sexual, totally out of the blue earlier... i mean maybe if we had actually had sex and we both been texting in a flirtatious way then it wouldn't have been so bad... but it was so weird... i didn't like it at all and now i don't know how i feel or what i think
and i'm worried and scared and sad because i thought he was a nice guy and now i'm not so sure
i want romance and innocent playfulness. i want to take things slow and make sure we really know and care about each other before we have sex, IF we have sex at all, is that so much to ask?
and yeh i might like it rough and passionate but i like it meaningful too, and i get the feeling that tom is gonna see it as fucking, in the bluntest sense of the word....
ooo :( i'm so fed up....  :'(