starry eyed

last night was awful.
went to a party at my ex's house.
drank way to much, way too quickly, and then spent most of the evening crying. wonderful.
i really didn't wanna be there. i realized about an hour into the night that i wasn't ready to be the happy go lucky party girl i usually am.
My ex could tell i was upset, even though i was trying to put on a brave face, n he took me to one side to talk to me, of course i just broke down, he tried to comfort me, n i was alright for a little while after that. but i soon came crashing back down again, i locked myself in the bathroom, sat on the floor n cried. i don't know how long i was in there for, but my ex came n found me. he picked me up and put me to bed, he lay with me for a bit, but i told him to go downstairs and enjoy his party, i didn't want my drunken, overly emotional state to ruin his night. he kept coming back up to check on me though, eventually i just fell asleep.

today, i have an AWFUL hangover, i am so tired :( and to make matters worse i have my self-important snobby grandparents coming round in about an hour. how lovely.

tomorrow, back to college, i have so much work to do :( eurghhh, n then Body Jam at the local leisure centre with my best girl, i'm hoping that will cheer me up a bit, we'll see.

for now i think imma change into some PJs n play online solitaire, i'll try to pretend to be sleeping when my grandparents arrive. wish me luck :/

E xxx