why have i started staying up so late?

it's not even like i'm doing anything
i'm just keeping myself up till ridiculous hours, and then i can't get up in the morning and just end up wasting my days
eurgh
and i always get so nostalgic when i stay up this late
i get freaked out by how long ago certain things were
i'm only 21 yet i feel so so old
it depresses me to know that my youth is almost over
i can't help but look back and wonder where it's gone, and wish i'd done things differently
some things more, some less.. just different
life really is too short
and you spend so much time worrying when you should just be living and not giving a fuck because you're young and who cares
wishing i was 16 again, and i could start over
of course there's certain things i wouldn't change at all
but there's a lot i would do differently
hmm
i can't keep doing this
i spend so much time looking back recently
the sooner i accept that it's gone, and that i can never change it, the sooner i can do now right
god, it scares me thinking i only have a year of uni left
can't help but wonder what on earth i'm gonna do with my life
someone make me rich?

what am i doing?
what do i want?

wish i had the answers