FED UP

want to move away again, i feel trapped and scarred and i don't know...

sometimes i wish i had the courage to just book a one way ticket and leave and see where life takes me.... but i'd probably end up dead in a gutter somewhere

*sighhhh*

sleep for now, day of cleaning tomorrow, and hopefully not too much bloody texting
i don't know what his obsession is with constant texting is
a "good morning" text is nice, a "have you had a good day" text is nice and a "good night text" is nice but anything more than that isn't necessary.
it's like it's a crime to just want to spend the day sat in bed chilling, and pottering round the house doing my own thing instead of checking my phone every 5 minutes. sometimes i just get so tired of texting.

we end up talking about the most mundane stuff, like "what you up to?" it's like, i know he doesn't really care what i'm up to, it's never anything interesting, he's just asking for the sake of asking.

and this whole "i miss you so much :((" "i wish i could be with you :((" thing annoys me because it just makes things worse. it's like, i know you miss me, and you know that i'm missing you too but stating it is only gonna make it worse. it's so negative. what's it gonna be like at uni? "owww it's gonna be two weeks before i get to see you again :(" yeah, great, thanks for reminding me. it makes it go slower if anything. i'd rather talk about good stuff and happy stuff than reminding ourselves how sad we are, is that just me? i dunno.... am i being heartless?

eurghhhhh
fedupfedupfedup of it all

going to bed now