Had such an upsetting dream

Why is this still so hard? 

I just want to be over him 

I don't want to want him anymore 

I don't want to love him 

I wish I could forget about him 

I wish I could stop caring

Feeling so depressed and tired and pathetic and stupid and angry 

Why can't I let him go? I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. It'll be a year soon and sometimes I still don't feel any better than I did in summer 

I'm so sick and tired of crying over him 

Feeling like I need to see a counsellor or something. Honestly think there is something wrong with me. 

I seriously need to stop feeling like this