Bored

Lonely 

In bed 

Can you come and keep me company please? 

I miss us

I miss us fucking 

Ahh the thought of being with him still turns me on so much 

I want to pleasure him again 

Kiss his lips and neck 

Undress him 

Caress his skin 

Feel him harden for me and take it in my mouth 

Kissing it, liking it, sucking it gently 

I want to hear him moan for me like he used to when I'd do that 

I miss being touched by him too 

I want to feel his fingers on my skin again 

Just thinking about it makes me breathless 

Him stroking and caressing me, appreciating every inch of my body 

He used to make me feel so attractive and sexy 

I felt confident with him 

Confident in how much we enjoyed each other 

I still love him, and I still want to show him how much I love him physically, have us experience each other again 

Tangled together, lost in the moment, lost in passion and lust and pleasure 

God I miss the intimacy with him so much 

And I don't have an ounce of interest for any level of intimacy with anyone else

I still only imagine it with him 

I still only want it with him 

It's so hot

I can't cool down or get comfy 

I feel sick 

I can't sleep

And I can't get you off my mind 

I haven't been able to for days 

But when I'm trying to sleep and have nothing to distract me it's so hard

Thinking and thinking 

I'm getting upset 

And then getting angry at myself for getting upset 

I hate myself for being like this 

I'm so weak and over emotional 

I feel ugly and lonely and pathetic and hopeless 

I'm so tired of feeling like this 

I just want to feel normal again 

But I don't know how 

I don't see how I can 

I feel completely overwhelmed 

What's wrong with me?