talk about emotional...
Saturday, 30 April 2011
i hate being so insecure
i can never seem to shake it
no matter how hard i try, how good i think i look, how drunk i get, i can never feel truly confident, i'm always just searching for someone to tell me i look nice, and then even when they do i don't believe them
i wish i wasn't like this,
i always think that maybe if i was more confident, i wouldn't be so shy and boring...
or maybe that's just the type of person i am
i'm really down about myself today, can't wait till i have enough money for plastic surgery
no matter how hard i try, how good i think i look, how drunk i get, i can never feel truly confident, i'm always just searching for someone to tell me i look nice, and then even when they do i don't believe them
i wish i wasn't like this,
i always think that maybe if i was more confident, i wouldn't be so shy and boring...
or maybe that's just the type of person i am
i'm really down about myself today, can't wait till i have enough money for plastic surgery
Thursday, 28 April 2011
I keep having really wacky dreams
they're making me sad and stressed and worried :(
i dreamt about him last night... i didn't like it at all
i dreamt about him last night... i didn't like it at all
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
i'm noming on easter egg to make myself feel better
even though i know that long term it's not gonna make me feel better at all...
Monday, 25 April 2011
lust only grows like anger and revenge
back to college tomorrow
tom's birthday tomorrow <3
meal with tom on wednesday :)
final graphics and textiles on thursday. no more graphics or textiles
day off on friday. will and al's birthday drinks followed by pub crawl :D
zombie or something with tom on saturday night
kate's mexican party on sunday night
day to recover on monday, then back to college.
s'gonna be a good week :)
tom's birthday tomorrow <3
meal with tom on wednesday :)
final graphics and textiles on thursday. no more graphics or textiles
day off on friday. will and al's birthday drinks followed by pub crawl :D
zombie or something with tom on saturday night
kate's mexican party on sunday night
day to recover on monday, then back to college.
s'gonna be a good week :)
Sunday, 24 April 2011
Friday, 22 April 2011
in other news,
i keep having these days
not even days, just moments
moments where I miss him a lot
i don't like them at all
moments where I miss him a lot
i don't like them at all
Thursday, 14 April 2011
imma get brown hair :D
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
can't stop eating chocolate/so glad my dad is going out/feeling quizzical
just watched amelie :)
yesterday was really nice
went to a bbq at one of Tom's friends houses.. met his group, they all seem really nice :) then we went to a pub quiz in the evening and it was fun and he was lovely <3 the more time i spend with him the more I fall in love with him and the more I worry that everything will go wrong somehow.
Tom (ex boyfriend Tom) text me last night as well... which was really weird considering i'd only been thinking about him the night before. It was so odd and completely out of the blue. He said "i'm sorry I never put in as much as you did". I just replied with "I'm sorry too" and i've had nothing back. So strange.
Feeling odd today for some reason. Think i'm just tired and bored and dad has gleefully spent the day winding me up. So glad he's gone out and he won't be back till tomorrow night (Y) yesssss..
I feel like doing something like baking a cake or something but i don't have the motivation to even get out of bed. eurghhhh
yesterday was really nice
went to a bbq at one of Tom's friends houses.. met his group, they all seem really nice :) then we went to a pub quiz in the evening and it was fun and he was lovely <3 the more time i spend with him the more I fall in love with him and the more I worry that everything will go wrong somehow.
Tom (ex boyfriend Tom) text me last night as well... which was really weird considering i'd only been thinking about him the night before. It was so odd and completely out of the blue. He said "i'm sorry I never put in as much as you did". I just replied with "I'm sorry too" and i've had nothing back. So strange.
Feeling odd today for some reason. Think i'm just tired and bored and dad has gleefully spent the day winding me up. So glad he's gone out and he won't be back till tomorrow night (Y) yesssss..
I feel like doing something like baking a cake or something but i don't have the motivation to even get out of bed. eurghhhh
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
sometimes
i really wish more people were up for open relationships
they just sound perfect to me
the stability and loveliness of having a boyfriend without having to give up my freedom and promiscuity
yeh i might get a little jealous but if i was able to get with other guys too I think i'd be alright
i'd just like to try it, y'know?
i want to seriously discuss it with Tom but I know he'd be hurt by me even suggesting it :/
they just sound perfect to me
the stability and loveliness of having a boyfriend without having to give up my freedom and promiscuity
yeh i might get a little jealous but if i was able to get with other guys too I think i'd be alright
i'd just like to try it, y'know?
i want to seriously discuss it with Tom but I know he'd be hurt by me even suggesting it :/
Monday, 11 April 2011
:(
i keep thinking about it and i can feel myself getting upset
gonna to go to sleep as quickly as i can to avoid this escalating any further
really hope i feel differently in the morning
gonna to go to sleep as quickly as i can to avoid this escalating any further
really hope i feel differently in the morning
i fucking hate it when they argue like this
screaming and shouting, mum locking herself in rooms and dad sounding like he's about to break the door down
it's scary
and i have to put my tv on mute so i can listen in case anything kicks off and i have to step in
i hate it
i shouldn't have to do this... i shouldn't have to worry about things getting violent
today's been so nice as well... we can never have just one fully happy day in this house
it's scary
and i have to put my tv on mute so i can listen in case anything kicks off and i have to step in
i hate it
i shouldn't have to do this... i shouldn't have to worry about things getting violent
today's been so nice as well... we can never have just one fully happy day in this house
Monday, 4 April 2011
Sunday, 3 April 2011
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Friday, 1 April 2011
overall
stupid useless hair dye
didn't even take properly
my hair's like 2 shades darker at best D: mum's gonna take me out in the morning to get a permanent one... grrrrrrrrr
my hair's like 2 shades darker at best D: mum's gonna take me out in the morning to get a permanent one... grrrrrrrrr
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)