Yesterday was shitty.... mum, dad and joe braved the roads and headed to kinver but it took them the whole day, glad i didn't go.. even though i was bored out of my mind at home. I didn get a little bit of graphics done in the evening but apart from that I pretty much did nothing all day.. boringggg
Today was a whole new story :) Dad woke me up early to tell me that him and mum were going to try to go into stourbridge to do some xmas shopping and i decided to go with them... i really needed to get out of the house. And it was brilliant :) The roads weren't too bad, at least on the way there they weren't. We went all around the shops - the pharmacy, thorntons, boots.. and we went to The Well for lunch which was nice :) It was just really nice to get out of the house :) And i got the perfect red, and the perfect nude - two lipsticks i'd been looking for for a long long time :)
I'm very chuffed at the moment :) Looking forward to christmas :) Gonna wrap some presents tomorrow i think :) And maybe do some work too :P And hopefully *fingers crossed* i'll be out Wednesday. It's bear's day off work so i'm hoping to go and see him, maybe go out for a meal too :) And then that evening it's the girls christmas meal at Spoons :D Very much looking forward to that :)
Might report back tomorrow, or Thursday if not :)
See yas
E xxx
Monday, 20 December 2010
Sunday, 19 December 2010
i don't update this regularly enough and then i always end with loads to say resulting in ridiculously long, ugly looking posts D:
Thursday (Night)..... ahhhh brilliant. Very good indeed :) The day started off shit tbh, i was tired and in an awful mood after awkward wednesday night, and going out clubbing wasn't sounding too appealing. But the day got better... TB bought me jelly tots which super cheered me up :) and then the choir was outside the english classroom singing carols and it was so so lovely - made me really want to be in a choir again :) and then we watched Toy Story in Comms. and Claire (cba with keeping names private any more, no-one reads this shit anyway) convinced me to come out and i got excited :) i got ready at my nan's (wore ma new dressss :D) then wandered over to Pauls, then to Jen's (with Paul, Dan, Dave, and Tom Gould who appeared completely out of the blue) and i borrowed some beautiful heels of hers :) then we went to crispin which was actually really nice, and more people joined us - Stan, George, Doug and Hollis - it was nice seeing everyone.... even if Stan was being super creepy -.- Paul made it his mission of the night to protect me from him, haha. Then we left crispin at 11ish and wondered over to river rooms (do not remember that walk at all). RR was super super good, they were so so many people there I knew :D it was actually brilliant :) i had such a good time... i could've stayed for a good 2/3 hours longer than i did, i only left cuz Paul and Dave wanted to go and cuz couldn't feel my feet, just pain.
Friday - lay in till noon, it was truly beautiful, i do love the comfort of my nana's spare bed <3 and wasn't that hungover which was lovely, just kinda tired. dad brought round clean clothes, make-up, toiletries and my phone charger and within an hour i was off up merry hill with TB for chrimbo shopping and general nice hang out time :) I turned him a little gay after the amount of time we spent in body shop :') and then we went and got chinese and SM popped over to take my i.d. away and look lovingly at him. Then i spent a long time hanging about outside costa until i got a chance to go see Tom, he gave me a cuddle and a kiss and free hot chocolate :) although he's working all week and i dunno when i'll next get to see him :( feeling love again :) he text me today and said "i love you" at the end... made me grin like a cheshire cat <3 oh, anddd, i FINALLY found my perfect perfume... i'm so chuffed. I've wanted to try it for ages and Jen had some so I wore it Thursday night and i could still smell it Friday... i got a few other samples from debanhams but couldn't find anything I liked as much... Nina by Nina Ricci - straight onto my xmas list :D
Saturday (today-ish) - woke up to an extreme amount of snow which did look very pretty. however, it's completely snowed me in and looks like it's gonna stay around for another two days :( eurghhh... done nothing all day yet felt super tired. aiming to do something tomorrow..... maybe like some part of the horribly large mountain of work I have to do over xmas. can not wait.
Didn't mean to end this on a negative note.... Thursday's and Friday's positiveness far blocks out today's (and, by the looks of things, my weekend's) rubbishness - life is kinda good at the moment :) and maybe, just maybe, clubbing isn't so shit after all :)
I shall report back soon, maybe as soon as tomorrow if i can be arsed.
Byieee xxx
Friday - lay in till noon, it was truly beautiful, i do love the comfort of my nana's spare bed <3 and wasn't that hungover which was lovely, just kinda tired. dad brought round clean clothes, make-up, toiletries and my phone charger and within an hour i was off up merry hill with TB for chrimbo shopping and general nice hang out time :) I turned him a little gay after the amount of time we spent in body shop :') and then we went and got chinese and SM popped over to take my i.d. away and look lovingly at him. Then i spent a long time hanging about outside costa until i got a chance to go see Tom, he gave me a cuddle and a kiss and free hot chocolate :) although he's working all week and i dunno when i'll next get to see him :( feeling love again :) he text me today and said "i love you" at the end... made me grin like a cheshire cat <3 oh, anddd, i FINALLY found my perfect perfume... i'm so chuffed. I've wanted to try it for ages and Jen had some so I wore it Thursday night and i could still smell it Friday... i got a few other samples from debanhams but couldn't find anything I liked as much... Nina by Nina Ricci - straight onto my xmas list :D
Saturday (today-ish) - woke up to an extreme amount of snow which did look very pretty. however, it's completely snowed me in and looks like it's gonna stay around for another two days :( eurghhh... done nothing all day yet felt super tired. aiming to do something tomorrow..... maybe like some part of the horribly large mountain of work I have to do over xmas. can not wait.
Didn't mean to end this on a negative note.... Thursday's and Friday's positiveness far blocks out today's (and, by the looks of things, my weekend's) rubbishness - life is kinda good at the moment :) and maybe, just maybe, clubbing isn't so shit after all :)
I shall report back soon, maybe as soon as tomorrow if i can be arsed.
Byieee xxx
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
pull your little arrows out and let me live my life
tonight was odd...
T came round, and i was really excited since it was the first time in ages i'd got to see him cuz he had to go to oxford and stuff, but something just wasn't right.
Things were wierd between us - quiet, awkward almost... i didn't like it at all because it kind of confirmed my thoughts about us losing our spark... things were old and boring. we had nothing to say, nothing to do... we pretty much had tea, he helped me with some computer stuff and then we both sat separately (me on the bed, him on a chair) and looked at facebook on our own laptops... as if the other one wasn't even there.
It just kinda feels like there's no real love or friendship between us anymore, when we kiss it doesn't mean anything, doesn't make me feel anything. I want to feel a rush, a thrill, a spark when i kiss my partner, but i don't feel anything with him anymore.
But my problem is my serious jealousy issues i seem to have. I hate it. Even though I don't think we're right together anymore, even though i don't feel a spark there, and i could seriously consider not being with him, and even being with someone else, the thought of him being with someone else tears me apart... i wish it didn't but i just can't seem to shake it... and i think that's always been my problem, i can never seem to get over him, never cope with the idea of him being with someone else. It's just horrific to me. Like tonight he was telling me about the people he met, how 'cool' they all were, and then he showed me a picture of a (very pretty) girl and was like "Oh she looks just like P" (a girl from our old school who i know T has always fancied, he always said stuff about how attractive she was) and i instantly got worried and jealous... is she prettier/cooler than me? is she funnier than me? god, she's on the same course as T, she must be really clever, cleverer than me.... and immediately decided that he must have fallen for her and i get extremely jealous and upset that he's going to go off to uni and gonna be with this girl who's prettier, funnier and cleverer than i am and that he'll forget all about me. and i'll be stuck here, all alone, watching via facebook as he enjoys a whole new life with his new wonderful better-than-me girlfriend.
The thing that annoys me is that really, since i'm considering ending it, since i'm not sure how i feel about him anymore, and since i've thought about being with someone else, the whole above scenario shouldn't bother me. but it really does, it bothers me so so much. And that's what makes me think that i'm wrong. I must still love him otherwise i wouldn't care. I think the loves there, i just think it's got a bit lost :/
T came round, and i was really excited since it was the first time in ages i'd got to see him cuz he had to go to oxford and stuff, but something just wasn't right.
Things were wierd between us - quiet, awkward almost... i didn't like it at all because it kind of confirmed my thoughts about us losing our spark... things were old and boring. we had nothing to say, nothing to do... we pretty much had tea, he helped me with some computer stuff and then we both sat separately (me on the bed, him on a chair) and looked at facebook on our own laptops... as if the other one wasn't even there.
It just kinda feels like there's no real love or friendship between us anymore, when we kiss it doesn't mean anything, doesn't make me feel anything. I want to feel a rush, a thrill, a spark when i kiss my partner, but i don't feel anything with him anymore.
But my problem is my serious jealousy issues i seem to have. I hate it. Even though I don't think we're right together anymore, even though i don't feel a spark there, and i could seriously consider not being with him, and even being with someone else, the thought of him being with someone else tears me apart... i wish it didn't but i just can't seem to shake it... and i think that's always been my problem, i can never seem to get over him, never cope with the idea of him being with someone else. It's just horrific to me. Like tonight he was telling me about the people he met, how 'cool' they all were, and then he showed me a picture of a (very pretty) girl and was like "Oh she looks just like P" (a girl from our old school who i know T has always fancied, he always said stuff about how attractive she was) and i instantly got worried and jealous... is she prettier/cooler than me? is she funnier than me? god, she's on the same course as T, she must be really clever, cleverer than me.... and immediately decided that he must have fallen for her and i get extremely jealous and upset that he's going to go off to uni and gonna be with this girl who's prettier, funnier and cleverer than i am and that he'll forget all about me. and i'll be stuck here, all alone, watching via facebook as he enjoys a whole new life with his new wonderful better-than-me girlfriend.
The thing that annoys me is that really, since i'm considering ending it, since i'm not sure how i feel about him anymore, and since i've thought about being with someone else, the whole above scenario shouldn't bother me. but it really does, it bothers me so so much. And that's what makes me think that i'm wrong. I must still love him otherwise i wouldn't care. I think the loves there, i just think it's got a bit lost :/
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Saturday, 11 December 2010
i wanna hear every beat of your heart
- Got the christmas tree today :D not put it up nor decorated it yet though... that shall have to be my task for tomorrow :) oh and i'm gonna make a tussy mussy.. got the orange last night in Kinver..
- Kinver was quite boring and cold but worth going non the less :) we had an altercation with a grumpy woman and a guy with small man syndrome at the white hart before having a trip to the co-op and the spar, then waiting a long long time on a bench for abbie... when chilling at abbie's :) and i wore a successful red lip :D
- T's got his interview at Oxford tomorrow... ahh i'm nervous for him, even though i know how well he'll do
- oh oh oh just remembered something else i need to tell you... got fired from my job on tuesday, yup New Look fired me (Y) over the phone as well. Even better ;) So i can actually enjoy my weekends now... gonna have to find another job in the new year though... i have a holiday and a life to pay for after all
- Talking of life... it's quite nice at the moment :) christmas is only round the corner and there's a merry spirit around (apart from between the parents, but that's nothing new)... going to Heathfield's carol service on Wednesday afternoon :) that'll really get me in the christmas mood :D and me and T are very close, and now he's passed his test it's like the world's our oyster :) i'm really feeling a lot of love for him atm :) <3 i keep getting all soppy and imagining the future between us... living together and shizz :/ dangerous i know.... but i do like him very very very much.
- I've also made a new discovery - my love for The Drums, definitely gonna be my soundtrack of the week :)
Life's pretty shweet :)
See yas
E xxx
- Kinver was quite boring and cold but worth going non the less :) we had an altercation with a grumpy woman and a guy with small man syndrome at the white hart before having a trip to the co-op and the spar, then waiting a long long time on a bench for abbie... when chilling at abbie's :) and i wore a successful red lip :D
- T's got his interview at Oxford tomorrow... ahh i'm nervous for him, even though i know how well he'll do
- oh oh oh just remembered something else i need to tell you... got fired from my job on tuesday, yup New Look fired me (Y) over the phone as well. Even better ;) So i can actually enjoy my weekends now... gonna have to find another job in the new year though... i have a holiday and a life to pay for after all
- Talking of life... it's quite nice at the moment :) christmas is only round the corner and there's a merry spirit around (apart from between the parents, but that's nothing new)... going to Heathfield's carol service on Wednesday afternoon :) that'll really get me in the christmas mood :D and me and T are very close, and now he's passed his test it's like the world's our oyster :) i'm really feeling a lot of love for him atm :) <3 i keep getting all soppy and imagining the future between us... living together and shizz :/ dangerous i know.... but i do like him very very very much.
- I've also made a new discovery - my love for The Drums, definitely gonna be my soundtrack of the week :)
Life's pretty shweet :)
See yas
E xxx
Monday, 6 December 2010
i wonder if you ever think of me...
today's been nice. it was the day i got to take my earrings out for the first time, and i was able to wear the ones T got me :) they looked so lovely :) i'm really chuffed with them and he said i looked pretty with them in :) he's such a sweetheart (L)
college work and work work is starting to get a bit overwhelming, i have so much stuff i've gotta do for next week D:
work tomorrow night too :( eurgh
spent time with TB today. we haven't really spent much time alone together after all the drama (i know i didn't write about it, but i know what i mean :P) but it was nice :)
talk soon
E xxx
college work and work work is starting to get a bit overwhelming, i have so much stuff i've gotta do for next week D:
work tomorrow night too :( eurgh
spent time with TB today. we haven't really spent much time alone together after all the drama (i know i didn't write about it, but i know what i mean :P) but it was nice :)
talk soon
E xxx
Sunday, 5 December 2010
it's been so longgg...
My laptop broke :(
and i've lost everything, my music, my documents, videos and photos, all gone :( i cried for a very long time.
lots of stuff has happened since i last wrote but none of it is really relevant anymore so i'm not gonna clog this post up with it.
lets do present and future stuff instead :)
-clothes show yesterday was a disappointment :( but i did get 2 gorgeous dresses and some lovely nail polish :D
- work's being an ass, strongly considering quitting but kinda need the money since...
- i've already booked my Reading ticket for next year :D SO EXCITED :D
- tomorrow i can take my earrings out for the first time, and that means i can put T's in (he got me some really beautiful sparkly ones for my birthday :) <3 o and he's passed his driving test and got an interview at oxford next weekend - i'm so proud of him :) although it means i don't get to see him for almost two weeks D: gonna miss him so much!)
- christmas is so soon!! :D i wanna decorate and make tussy mussys :D and we should be getting the tree next weekend :D so so excited, definitely more excited than i was last year :)
- hating college atm... not even enjoying graphics D: and they're all on my back about attendance even though I've been super super good :(
- break up from college in one and a half weeks :D holiday's can't come soon enough, really in need of a break and some good, drunken nights out :)
i promise to keep you updated more often (unless my silly laptop breaks again)
see yas
E xxx
and i've lost everything, my music, my documents, videos and photos, all gone :( i cried for a very long time.
lots of stuff has happened since i last wrote but none of it is really relevant anymore so i'm not gonna clog this post up with it.
lets do present and future stuff instead :)
-clothes show yesterday was a disappointment :( but i did get 2 gorgeous dresses and some lovely nail polish :D
- work's being an ass, strongly considering quitting but kinda need the money since...
- i've already booked my Reading ticket for next year :D SO EXCITED :D
- tomorrow i can take my earrings out for the first time, and that means i can put T's in (he got me some really beautiful sparkly ones for my birthday :) <3 o and he's passed his driving test and got an interview at oxford next weekend - i'm so proud of him :) although it means i don't get to see him for almost two weeks D: gonna miss him so much!)
- christmas is so soon!! :D i wanna decorate and make tussy mussys :D and we should be getting the tree next weekend :D so so excited, definitely more excited than i was last year :)
- hating college atm... not even enjoying graphics D: and they're all on my back about attendance even though I've been super super good :(
- break up from college in one and a half weeks :D holiday's can't come soon enough, really in need of a break and some good, drunken nights out :)
i promise to keep you updated more often (unless my silly laptop breaks again)
see yas
E xxx
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